


Patience and Fangs

by JustAndrea



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Savage Raph, one small injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAndrea/pseuds/JustAndrea
Summary: There are many things Splinter still has to learn when it comes to being a father to four turtle tots. But one things is for certain: He loves his sons. ALL parts of them, even the parts that may be a bit more... savage.
Relationships: Raphael & Splinter (TMNT)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 120





	Patience and Fangs

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've wanted to write about the first time Raph went savage for a while now, and then Werepirechick inspired me with their awesome 'Raph has some sort of DID' theories on Tumblr as well as their awesome fic "mind meld side-effects may include:" (which you should all totally read and comment on).
> 
> So yeah, this is just sorta my own take on that concept, as well as just me wanting to write more Good Dad Splinter and a bit of father and son hurt/comfort, heh. So yeah, hope you all enjoy! ^v^

He heard a foot lightly scrape across the concrete floor of their home. Amongst the other sounds of his sons lightly playing and enjoying the afternoon, he might not have even picked up, if not for his sensitive rat ears and the small, excited growl that came with the footstep.

Still, Lou - once called Yoshi, now occasionally called Splinter when he wasn’t “Pop” or “Daddy” - didn’t say a word. He didn’t even turn towards the noise. Ever the ninja master, he simply sat patiently and waited…

Raph grinned, excited. This was it. He was FINALLY going to sneak up on his pops! Crouching down like a kitten practicing its pounce, the rough-and-tumble snapper hesitated for only a moment before stampeding towards his father. 

He was only about an inch away from him when he was scooped up by Splinter, who could only laugh as Raph squirmed and squawked in his grip. Loosening his tail’s hold on his son ever so slightly, he allowed Raph to tackle him properly, and the two of them rolled around a bit as Raph tried to pin him down. 

Of course, all Splinter had to do was tickle his son just a little for him to fall into a fit of giggles, completely helpless. “I- I almost got you, Pop!” Raph insisted in-between his laughs.

“Yes, yes, you were very close, Red,” Splinter told him before lightly booping him on the nose. Raph, in turn, playfully snapped at him, and the two shared another laugh.

It wasn’t always easy for Raph, being the biggest and strongest of his siblings at the tender age of four. Donnie’s shell was too soft for wrestling, and Leo and Mikey were too little for it. Thankfully, he had a papa who didn’t mind a little rough-housing, having almost as much fun with it as Raph did!

Even if it was something they couldn’t always do.

“Give it!” “Nuh uh, it’s my turn!” “But it’s mine!” “MINE!”

Splinter sighed, gently picking Raph up and placing the boy back on his feet. “Boys!” he said, raising his voice a little as he walked over to the twins, “What have I told you two about sharing?”

Raph blew a raspberry, sitting down. He knew he had to be patient, and that his brothers sometimes needed their dad too… but what was he supposed to do now? Wrestling was his favorite game, and now…

After a moment, he shook his head and stood back up. Even if nothing would be as fun as rough-housing and wrestling around, he wasn’t going to sit and pout about it. He was the big brother, after all.

So, he began looking around for something to play with. Cheech was in the corner, but as much as Raph loved his best bear friend, Cheech couldn’t exactly do much other than look cute and give good hugs, and he didn’t want to risk tearing him again. 

He did have a couple action figures, but he accidentally broke his Jupiter Jim last week, and a few days after that, he let Donnie borrow his Crognar. Knowing his smarty-pants brother, he probably already took it apart to try and see how his karate-chop arm worked.

Raph sighed to himself, wishing not for the first time that their little family had more things to play with. But toys were a rarity, only ever occasionally brought back by their father after a food run.

And it was then that Raph got an idea.

Looking towards the single pipe that led out of their home and into the sewers, he hummed a little to himself. Pop was able to find toys - and food and supplies too - so why couldn’t Raph? It couldn’t be THAT hard, right?

He looked back over at his dad - who was still trying to barter with Leo and Donnie into getting them to share. Mikey was already over by him, pulling on the side of his robe and eager to show him his latest artistic creation.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t bother ‘im,” Raph told himself. Big brothers could get their own toys, and didn’t have to rely on their papas for help all the time, especially when they were busy taking care of their other siblings.

So, with a slight pep in his step, Raph began strolling down the tunnel, his smile still wide even as the voices of his family got farther and farther away…

()()()()()()()()()()()

No one had ever claimed being a father of four boys was going to be easy, and Splinter certainly knew this. Of course he loved his sons, but a part of him couldn’t wait until they were a bit more independent (even if another part of him knew that he’d probably miss these days of toddlerhood once they were gone).

It just seemed like every moment, he was getting his attention pulled a different way. First two of his kids were arguing, then another wanted to show him something, then another wanted to ask him something, then they wanted him to join in on their game, and then they started arguing AGAIN over the rules of said game- Honestly, it was enough to make a rat’s head spin!

And in-between it all, Splinter still tried to do his best at cleaning, figuring that a clean home was about as important as a happy home, even if they lived in the sewers. Maybe it was a bit futile, but Splinter still wanted to at least try.

Suppertime came in what seemed like a blink of an eye, and as tired as he was, he knew he still had a few more chores to get done before beddy-bye time. “Okay, okay,” Splinter said, gently lifting Mikey off his back, “I have to go make supper. Red, you are in charge until-”

Splinter looked around for his oldest, and realized after a bit of searching that Raph wasn’t there. “...Where is Red?” he asked his other sons, who could only shrug. “Okay, stay right here- Red!” Maybe he went to go nap in his room?

Except Raph wasn’t in his room, or the bathroom, or the kitchen. “Are you boys sure you didn’t see where he went?” he asked. His voice was relatively calm, but his tail was already twitching, clearly concerned. But Raph knew better than to just wander off away from home… right?

“We didn’t see ‘im,” Leo shrugged, “An’ it’s not like we were playing hide and seek or anything…”

“Last time I saw him was when he was trying to wrestle you,” Donnie added, making Splinter wince a bit. 

Did Raph leave because he was upset Splinter couldn’t play with him? The snapper didn’t usually mind, but he supposed that every child had their limits when it came to patience… Or maybe- gah, what was he doing?! “O-Okay, okay, I am going to go and look for him,” Splinter told them, “and you are all to stay here and-”

“But we wanna help find Raphie too!” Mikey shouted, already clinging to his father. Donnie and Leo each gave him a nod, looking just as determined. 

Splinter sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know you boys are worried, but Red will be fine! I will find him, do not worry. But, until then, I need you all to stay here. I don’t need anyone else getting lost, alright? Promise me!”

His three remaining sons whined a little, not happy with being on the sidelines, but in the end, they reluctantly agreed to stay at home. “Good… Like I said, I will find your brother, and we will be right back.” Splinter then gave them all a firm, comforting hug before grabbing his flashlight and heading into the tunnel. “I knew I should have gotten some sort of baby gate,” he mumbled, his quiet words echoing slightly off the metal walls.

The sewers were dark, far too dark for any child. He wondered why Raph didn’t just come running back when he got far enough away, and briefly speculated if he had been taken before dismissing that idea as ridiculous. Their home was far from any wandering humans or yokai, and they were the only mutants around. His son wasn’t kidnapped, he was just lost!

...Completely and utterly lost, with no way to leave a trail for his father to follow.

Splinter groaned again as his worry grew. “Come on, Lou… If you were a four year old turtle, where would you hide…?”

Really, there weren’t many places TO hide, with the current tunnel he was in being one long piece of pipe with no openings or crawl spaces. Eventually though, he came to something new - a split in the path. “Great…” Both tunnels were identical, and again there were no clues telling him which way his son had gone.

“REEEEED!” he called out, his ears flattening at the loud echo, “RAPHAEL, CAN YOU HEAR ME?” He waited, and listened… No answer. Splinter’s frown deepened. Who knew how long it would take to search one tunnel and then turn around to search the other if he picked wrong? Promise or no, he knew by the time he finished doing this, his sons would’ve gone off on their own little search party.

...Well then, he would just have to work fast! Preparing himself, Splinter took a deep breath - and his nose twitched.

There were many unpleasant smells in the sewers, this was a given, but after living in them for years now, he had pretty much gotten used to them and barely even noticed them any more. But one particular scent stuck out like a green thumb! 

“Thank you, Fear Stink!” Splinter cheered, grinning before realizing what this meant. “Oh no, my poor boy… Don’t worry, Red! Papa’s on the way!” He took a couple more deep breaths, trying to figure out the location of the scent before finally picking the right-hand tunnel and racing down it.

After a few minutes of running, he nearly slipped as he ran into puddles of sewer scum and mud (at least, he hoped it was mud. Yeah, it was DEFINITELY bath time when they got home). He had to slow down somewhat because of that, but at least the scent was getting stronger.

Exiting the pipe, he came to a space that was more stone than metal, with several open passageways to different pipes and tunnels. “Red!” Splinter called out again, “Where are you?! Ra-” His ears perked up as they picked up on a quiet hiss. There! “Raphael,” he smiled, relieved as he ran over a small room only a few feet wide.

Sure enough, when he shined his light into the small room, Splinter saw his son. Except… something was off.

Not only was Raph covered in mud, but he was sneering and scowling, crouched down on all fours. “Raph…? Raph, it is me! It’s Daddy!”

Raph just hissed again, growling as he backed up further.

“This is not right,” Splinter mumbled. This was different than a child being pouty or throwing a tantrum, MUCH different. Maybe… Maybe he just couldn’t see his father clearly, what with all the shadows. “Come on, Red,” Splinter said, taking a few steps forward with his hand outstretched, “Daddy just wants to-”

Raph’s hisses increased in both volume and pitch as he stood up on his two legs, his spiky shell now completely pressed against the wall. With how close they were now, Splinter could also see that Raph’s eyes were now completely yellow, his irises completely gone. 

Splinter gulped, pulling back his hand. “...It’s- I-It’s okay, Red One, I am not going to hurt you.” He dared to take another step forward-

With a screech, Raph lunged, shoving Splinter to the ground and biting down onto whatever was closest to his mouth. Splinter cried out, and pushed his son off on instinct, backing away. Panting a bit now, he felt the new notch in his ear, and gave a small hiss of his own in pain. It wasn’t bleeding too much thankfully, but-

“Go!” Raph shouted, back against the wall now, “R-Rat, go! Go away!”

“Raphael… It’s me...” Despite his pain (in more ways than one), Splinter took the time to get a good look at his son. His teeth were still barred, his fists clenched tightly as he glared at his father… But with how the light of his dropped flashlight reflected off them, Splinter could also see that Raph’s iris-less eyes were filled with unshed tears, his fear stink only getting stronger by the second.

Seeing that the rat was refusing to leave, Raph let out what seemed like a cross between a growl and a sob before shouting “GO AWAY!” A few tears fell, but he still refused to hide his sharp teeth.

“...” Splinter took a couple steps back, and then sat down on the damp stone underneath them. “I am not going to hurt you, my son,” he told Raph, his voice quiet yet firm, “And I am not going to leave.” Raph hissed at him, but Splinter didn’t take back his words. This was still his son, and it didn’t matter if he got bitten a dozen times for it, he wasn’t going to leave him.

For a few minutes, Raph just continued to growl and snarl in an attempt to intimidate the rat man and get him to leave, even occasionally pouncing forward to try and frighten him away. But the rat was as still as a statue. There was no fear… but, as far as Raph’s instincts could tell, there was no sense of challenge or intimidation from the rat either. The rat didn’t want his territory, and he didn’t want to fight. So then… what DID he want?

“Rat… go,” Raph mumbled, getting back on all fours, “G-Go away…”

“Rat is not leaving,” Splinter calmly replied, “Rat is staying. Rat is not going to hurt you.”

“N-No… Rat- Rat bad! Bad bad! No bad! Go away!”

“Rat is good. Rat… Rat loves Raph.” The snapper’s eyes widened a bit at that, and Splinter gave him a small smile. “Rat is not leaving Raph. Rat cares for Raph.”

“Raph…” Raph sniffled, his tears dripping off his mud covered cheeks. “R-Raph alone…”

“...” Splinter blinked away a couple tears of his own, his mind briefly flashing back to when he was young, back to that awful day in the park. “Raph is NOT alone. Rat is here for Raph. Rat cares for Raph… Please, Raphael…” He wasn’t sure why his son couldn’t remember who he was but- but if he could just trigger his memories somehow, then maybe-!

Getting an idea, Splinter began to hum. He had never been very good at making up lullabies, but the mellow tunes he remembered hearing from the radio seemed to work just as well. His boys seemed to like them, always drifting off whenever he hummed or sang one, so maybe…

Raph’s growls finally started to slow as he sniffed the air (why did the rat smell so familiar? What was this familiar song?), his blank eyes blinking as if he was trying to find something but couldn’t quite see it yet. Splinter kept himself calm, humming the tune over and over as he patiently waited.

“...” Slowly, Raph took a step forward, then another step. Still humming, Splinter slowly stretched out his hand. Raph sniffed it, his face a mix of recognition and confusion.

“Raphael, I am here,” Splinter insisted. It would maybe cost him one of his fingers but- he cupped Raph’s face, gently stroking the boy’s cheek with his thumb.

Raph gave a small gasp, his eyes focusing. It took a few moments for him to completely come back, but it was the touch and the scent of his father that kept him grounded - that let him know that he was safe, that he wasn’t alone and that he had a family. Three younger brothers and a- “...P-Papa?”

Splinter smiled, nodding at him. “I’m here, Raphael.”

“...” Raph scrunched up his face as his eyes welled up again, and Splinter scooped him up, allowing the boy to sob on his shoulder. “I- I wanted to find a toy in the sewers, like how you can! But- But I went too far and, and it was dark and scary and- and I was ALONE! _I don’t like being alone!_ I- I-!”

Splinter shushed him as he gently pet his son’s spiky back and head. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ve got you, Big Red. Papa’s got you…” Raph continued to cry, holding onto his father tightly, as if he’d disappear if he let go. Eventually though, his sobs became sniffles, but he still refused to let go. Not that Splinter really minded - after all that, he wanted to just hold his son for a while.

But they also had to get home. So, adjusting his grip slightly so that he could walk properly, Splinter stood up and began traveling back down the tunnel. After a few minutes of walking, his son spoke up again. “H-Hey, pop?”

“Yes?”

“What happened to your ear?”

“...It is nothing. Wasn’t watching where I was going, that’s all,” Splinter told him, giving his shell a few more pats, “Hey, you know, I think we may have a few of those pizza bagel-bites left. How does that sound for supper?”

Raph smiled slightly. “Heh, that sounds good.”

“I thought so,” Splinter smiled back. Seeing that his son was a lot calmer now, Splinter picked up the pace, and before long they were both back in the lair, where his other three sons practically tackled Raph with hugs, unwilling to let him leave their side the rest of the night. After the ordeal he had just been through, Raph was perfectly fine with that.

“So what happened?” Splinter heard Leo ask as he went into the kitchen.

“I was tryin’ to find a new toy, but I got freaked out,” Raph replied, a bit embarrassed now, “It was just… really dark, and lonely, and scary.”

“So what’d you do?” Mikey asked.

“I…” Raph paused, and so did Splinter, his rat ears angled towards the doorway to the atrium. “I don’t… I guess I was so scared, I fell asleep?”

“That’s weird,” Donnie commented, “How do you just scare yourself to sleep?”

Raph stuck his tongue out at him, though he could admit his purple brother wasn't wrong. “I dunno… I just remember freaking out and stuff and… then I remember seeing Dad. But, I’m fine now! Really!”

As his sons continued to talk amongst themselves, eventually moving on and just dismissing Raph’s ‘weirdness’ as a random thing, Splinter gave a thoughtful hum as he grabbed the frozen pizza bagel-bites. Very odd indeed…

It wasn’t until weeks later, when he had snuck into the nearby library to grab more books for Donnie and decided to take a look at the ‘psychology’ section, did Splinter start to get some answers about his son.

Dissociative Identity Disorder. A rare condition, also known as Multiple Personality Disorder, allowing a person to have two or more different personalities or identities. The fact that this disorder included memory loss jumped out at him right away, along with the “change in behavior and cognition” part. Apparently, some identities emerged in certain circumstances and were often triggered by stress. 

He also had to remember that Raph already had two sides to him - a human side and a turtle side, just as all his sons did. Thinking back to his very early days as a father, back to when he had NO idea what he was doing (Splinter liked to think that he had improved at least somewhat since then), reading up on different types of turtles since all of them were so different and had different needs. 

He remembered feeling amused when he read that snappers were fairly solitary, given that Raph could be just as clingy as Leo and Mikey at times and how much he loved playing with his brothers. “Well, maybe there was a reason for that,” Splinter mumbled as his thoughts became heavier. While still obviously a baby, Raph had been at least a year or two old before his mutation. With how harsh Mother Nature could be, he hated to think what could have happened (or DID happen) to his son at such a young age, being all alone in the world with only his snapper instincts to rely on…

The rat-man sighed. He lifted a hand to his ear, gently moving his fingers over the healed notch in it. ...Well, maybe he didn’t have any doctors or psychologists (or vets?) to tell him whether his suspicions were correct or not, or how to help his son cope with his condition the right way… 

...But at the very least, Splinter knew how to give support when one of his boys were upset or afraid, as well as how to be patient. Raph - and by extension, any other personalities he had - was still his son, and he would love him no matter what. Splinter just hoped that would be enough.

So, he packed up his books and headed home. Just like when he had left a couple hours earlier, all of his turtles were still sound asleep in bed. No one was lost, and everything was peaceful.

Smiling softly to himself, Splinter made an extra trip to Raph’s room. He chuckled at the snapper’s snores and at how cute he looked as he snuggled his teddy. Gently, he pet Raph’s head.

Raph gave a small grumble. “Ah, Pop…?” he asked, giving his father a curious (and VERY sleepy) look.

“Oops, sorry,” Splinter said quietly, though he didn’t move his hand, “I just wanted to check in, I did not mean to wake you. Go back to sleep, okay?” 

“Mm, kay…” Raph closed his eyes again.

Splinter hummed giving his oldest son one last pet. “...Papa loves you,” he told him, “All of you, and do not let any part of yourself forget that, alright?”

“Kay,” Raph mumbled, giving a small yawn, “Love you too…” He felt his father give him a kiss on the forehead before finally leaving him be. Feeling completely safe and loved, it didn’t take Raph long to drift back into a deep and restful sleep, a certain scent and a comforting melody lingering in his mind as he did so.

**THE END**


End file.
